When I attempted to write tonight’s post, I flipped through my A5 hot pink notebook for ideas that I had jotted down earlier. However, most of the topics were too deep and some of them required a drive down memory lane, which was not something I was in the mood for tonight. I had enough sadness and uncomfortable feelings within me (for no obvious reasons) that I didn’t want to add to, by writing a melancholy post.
That’s why, I decided to pick the lightest topic in my notebook, which after some thought of what it could cover, turned out to be an even more sensitive and deep topic than the ones I had listed in my book!
Basically, I wanted to explain the purpose of writing this blog…and what it’s about. You can call it an online journal. Since all I’m doing is putting my own thoughts onto it, and discussing my personal struggles, triumphs, feelings, and experiences.
You can also consider it as a form of therapy. A way for me to express myself and views while releasing any negative thoughts or emotions and hopefully feeling better in the process.
Since writing the above would make this post too short, I thought of discussing other ways of therapy and meditation. While reading self-help spirituality books and practicing what they said has certainly helped me a lot in the past, I can’t deny that there are times when I feel down and depressed for no apparent reason. It’s not a fleeting kind of sadness, but one that will stick to you like glue and inflict itself on you like a personality trait.
One of the solutions to this problem comes in the form of prayer for Muslims. We are required to pray five times a day on time. Prayer brings with it peace, serenity and fulfillment. Emotional states that are the basis for any healthy well-being.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have a religious upbringing. My parents didn’t put enough effort into that area or give it the significance it holds. I didn’t even realize that significance until later in my life. When I felt that there was something missing…something that I didn’t share with others from my society or religion…Despite that, I am thankful for friends who have always been there to remind me of the importance of praying in leading a happy and contented life. More recently, I’ve had a new friend emphasize that importance even more and push me towards completing my prayers on time and on a continuous basis.
I must admit that it hasn’t been easy…I’m still working on praying on a regular basis, without missing any days, prayers, or timings.
I can’t help but look back and blame my parents sometimes…although I know that it’s wrong to blame anyone for your own actions. But maybe if they had played a better role in many areas, then I would be a better person today? I believe that if they did, I would be struggling less in my life, and I would definitely not be the person I am today….in a positive way I guess….someone who had to learn a lot by themselves and work hard to develop and grow as an individual.
Now that I must go back to praying after a gap of not praying for a few days (I had nail polish on that I didn’t have time to remove!)…I know, not a good excuse….I will end my post here and go to bed with the alarm set for fajr prayer…..
Please wish me luck and pray that I conform to the main pillar of Islam, with an easier transition….